Today did not go quite according to plan. I was supposed to meet Miss S for lunch today and to just visit. She had wanted to meet with me alone without all of her family present. She was also supposed to have a sonogram today. But I wasn't going to the sonogram. Because I'm being smart this time, I'm protecting my heart this time, I'm not seeing a baby until she is mine this time. That was the plan right!
Well I got to lunch and Miss S wasn't feeling well. And she continued to feel worse and worse until it was obvious that she wasn't okay and she needed to go to the hospital. So I took her and of course I couldn't get ahold of her family. So we got to the hospital and they checked her blood pressure and it was really high, 170/120. That's not good. And they couldn't get it down. So they decided they needed to do a sonogram to see how big the baby was in case they needed to deliver.
She was scared and didn't want to be alone and I didn't want to leave her. So the next thing I know I'm staring at this precious little girl on a tv screen that is moving and kicking like crazy. I could see her little nose and mouth. I could see her sucking her thumb and moving her feet. I could see little tufts of hair on her head and I could see that heart beating so strong and fast. And I felt my heart grow. This wasn't the plan!
So after many tests and much debate the doctor decided to admit Miss S. The baby is only 4 1/2 pounds so they would like her to be able to carry her awhile longer. But they are going to observe her tonight and make a decision tomorrow or Saturday. The most important thing is trying to get the blood pressure down. So Miss S will stay at the hospital until they feel like it's safe for her to go home or until after the baby is born.
So the day didn't go according to my plans. But they went according to God's plan. The turn of events gave Miss S and I some bonding time. We were able to hang out and play cards and play 20 questions and goof around together. We were able to talk about what adoption means to us and what we want the future to look like. And we were able to build a little trust in one another. I think she realized that I'm not going to freak out when it gets tough, I'm going to support her, and I'm going to root for her and this baby girl. And I realized how dedicated she is to this little girl and her well being. I realized how thoughtful and tough and spirited she is. And I realized that if I just go with the flow God will take care of the rest.
I don't know how the rest of this will play out but I can tell you one thing.... I'm not making anymore plans!
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8 comments:
Sometimes not making plans is the best way to go! I admire your strength and braveness, and look forward to meeting your baby - whoever and wherever he or she might be!!
I am praying for Miss S. and the precious baby girl she is carrying. I pray that her blood pressure goes down so that the baby doesn't have to be delivered early. Thank God you were there with her when she got sick. God put you where you needed to be - with Miss S. to get her to the hospital and be there for her. God bless you, Miss S. and the precious baby girl she is carrying.
Prayers,
Gina, mommy to Lucas
Oh, I'll keep all of you in my prayers.
Thanks for keeping us posted!
Wow Jessie - how amazing that you were with her at the moment she needed you. God always has His own set of plans huh? :) I like how you said to go with the flow and let God work it out. As always, I'm impressed by your strength.
Well not a whole lot latley has brought little tears to my eyes...but that made me "well Up!" It's like God's hand was on your back just pushing you through the whole day saying "DEAL WITH IT JESSIE" (but in a good way). Definitly not "your plan." I loved loved loved your day, as much as you didn't want it...it was a beautiful day. Whatever happens with Miss S and baby girl you've obviously made an impact on Miss S's life! I'm sure she appreciated your support more than anything.
Don't you just want to look up at God and say "well ya got me again...I wasn't expecting this or planning this and dang it....you got me again." haha
xoxoxo Bethany
Thinking of you and Miss S. Hope the bp is stable and normal soon.
Kerri and Ruby
I so admire your strength and your courage. Sometimes the best things wind up completely against "the plan."
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