The Future's So Bright

I've got to wear shades!!!

Poor Baby Sylas! He gets played with and dressed up so much. He actually slept through the shades experiment. He is such a good boy! I just love him.

We have had a houseful of visitors. Sylas has a big fan club. We are settling in though and getting used to one another. He still sleeps a lot and I rarely see those beautiful eyes. He tends to be more alert after he eats so we do get some awake time then. But I hate to mess it up by taking a picture. So I'm gonna keep the eyes in hiding a bit longer. But soon I will start taking pictures of it.

Sweet Sweet Baby

While I have been waiting for a match I have set all the adoption agency numbers in my phone to a Michelle Featherstone song called Sweet Sweet Baby. That way I wasn't nervous ever time the phone rang. Just when that song played. Now that Sylas is home it is his song. Luckily I now have a picture of the little guy to go with the song. So here is my sweet sweet baby boy!!!!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Baby Update

Okay Emily you can quit stalking the blog. Here is an update! When you get done at your conference you have to stop by and get some love from Sylas!

Sylas is doing amazing. He is a super baby. He sleeps a lot. This is a good thing I'm told. However, all the sleeping has prevented me from getting a picture of his little eyes. Though I have hundreds of sleeping Sylas and eating Sylas. I just adore him!!!!

I too am doing great. Motherhood is the most amazing thing in the world. I can't believe I ever survived without him. There are times when he makes me laugh so hard my belly hurts and other times that he makes me cry just by laying there. He is the best band-aid ever! I can't believe how good my heart feels. I just pray that someday he remembers how much I love him when I have to start telling him no.

I am going to get a slideshow put together of pictures of him soon I promise. I've just been really busy and I have a paper that I have to write for class soon. It was actually due today so I emailed the prof and asked for an extenstion and he gave me until tomorrow at noon. Long extenstion huh... But I should be grateful and just get it done. For now you get a picture of Sylas.

100 Posts and 1 Big Miracle

Oh what a difference a few days makes. My last post showed the absolute low in my adoption journey. Now one post later and what marks my 100th post this journey has reached the top of the mountain!!!! With great joy and much gratitude I announce the arrival of my miracle boy. Sylas Keith Lewis Wagoner arrived on March 21st 2007. He weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. I welcomed into my heart and home forever on March 24th 2008!!!!

I recieved the call on Easter Sunday and met Katie my hero and Sylas' first mommy shortly after the call. And in less than 24 hours Sylas and I were heading home. We are a family. We are a team. And my heart is mended!!!! Praise God for Katie and Praise God for Sylas.

I will post more later but I have a little man to feed and love on. Enjoy the first of many pictures to come!!!!

Ugh

I want to post that I'm doing really well, that I love the adoption process and that I'm so hopeful this is all going to work out. That's what I really want to post. But since I'm not to good at lying I guess I have to tell the truth. I'm a mess! I'm an absolute mess right now.

I've bounced back pretty good from the first two failed adoptions. They were tough but I pushed forward and I was optimistic and I did okay. But this time I'm really struggling. I think I've reached the point where I can't take much more. I know I'm depressed. I know I'm a crying mess and I know I'm so angry about everything I can hardly focus on anything else. The bad part is I don't know what I'm going to do about it.

I keep praying that God will make this okay. That I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. I keep praying that I'll hold a baby soon that is actually mine! And I'm trying to have faith that it will happen. But I honestly don't believe that. I'm beginning to feel like starting this whole process was a huge mistake. I just don't know what I'm going to do...

Any suggestions....

Bumps In The Road

I posted on my other blog the other day about Miss S having the baby on Thursday. She had a healthy baby girl. She went back and forth for a couple of days but ultimately decided on Saturday to parent the baby. So no little one for me. :-(

So with three failed adoptions I'm left wondering where this journey is headed. I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from all of this. I really don't understand why it keeps happening. And unfortunately I'm pretty hurt and angry and very frustrated with the process.

As a consolation prize the adoption agency did send me 2 dozen roses and a very nice card. They also call often to offer support. I think they are floored by this whole ordeal. According to them they have never known of someone to have 3 failed adoptions in a row. Lucky me I get to set the bar for rejects! Wahooooo!!!!

So that is the story of the day. It's not much fun around these parts...

Adoption Journey Blog Carnival

Here is the most recent edition of the Adoption Journey Blog Carnival. We have some great posts! Welcome to all the new participants. It's nice to find some new blogs!!! Enjoy!

Beth presents Parental Units posted at Living a Quotable Life.

Suzanne presents your own real kids (snarky) posted at :: adventures in daily living ::.

pnreddy presents Want To Know The Process Of Infant Adoption? posted at The Parents Zone.

Kathy presents Life Changes posted at John Carlos - Guatemalan Prince.

Suzanne presents staking our tomato posted at :: Adventures in Daily Living ::.


Joanne presents
Adoption Life Books posted at
Forever Parents.

Dawn presents We Got Lucky posted at Finding Your Child & Creating a Family.

Kerri presents Kerri's journey to mommyhood: Inspired Again posted at Kerri's journey to mommyhood.

Kelli presents Pho Real? posted at Loving Mom seeks Vietnamese Prince or Princess.

Maureen presents A Tale of an Alien: Growing Up Without a Culture posted at Korean Diary.

I present Not Again at my other blog Hunna's Happenings.

Joanne presents Join Our Adoption Forums! posted at Forever Parents.

That concludes the March edition of the Adoption Journey Blog Carnival. I hope you take the time to visit and comment on the other participants blogs. Good luck on your journey of adoption! If you would like to enter a post for the next carnival that will be on April 1st please do so by clicking here.