We are finally home. I've never been so happy to walk into my house! I swear I walked in the door and my stress level dropped considerably. I just feel safe here. The drive home with no baby was a bit of torture but now that I'm here it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I feel lonely and angry and sad and frustrated but also hopeful. This is a very rough bump in the road but it's not the end of the road. Being a mom is not something I want it is something that I'm destined for. I will be a mom. This week wasn't my time but nothing will stop me. I will have a baby and this is just a painful delay.
One thing I know for certain is that God does not make mistakes. There is some reason that Roman did not come home with me. It just wasn't our time. I don't know what other baby is out there but there is one and it's waiting for me. God will send the right baby my way. While Roman is a wonderful, beautiful, splendid little boy he is not my little boy. So I will wait, my heart will heal and I will be a better mother because of this in the future.
I'm off to enjoy a good nights sleep in my own bed!
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1 comment:
Beautiful post Jessie,
Jeff and I have been thinking about you everyday, and you are in our prayers everyday. You seem like such a strong woman and we love that about you. Keep your heart wide open! Just like you said your baby will come home soon.
Much love,
Gurskes
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