3 Months

Wow Sylas K is three months old. It's funny when I was waiting for Sylas three months seemed like an eternity. Now it just flies by. So the highlights of month three would be....

Sylas really started smiling and laughing this month. I love the sound of his laugh and his smile melts my heart. I still have a hard time trying to get a picture of his smile but I have a couple blurry ones that I'll post today. One day I'm gonna get a great smile shot!

Sylas sleeps through the night the majority of the time. We usually have one night a week that he wakes up but other than that he does great.

Sylas now eats food! We were able to start cereal with the doctor's approval. He didn't like that much but when I added in carrots that baby went crazy. I've never seen a kid so excited over carrots before.

Sylas started daycare with Ms Liz. He is doing great there. He is always happy when I pick him up and he gives her and the other kids lots of smiles. I hate leaving him but I love that he has a good place to go.

Sylas and I visited Katie once this month. We also talk on the phone frequently and I am always sending lots of pictures.

The adoption was finalized this month!

So that is month three. Here are some fun pics of my baby boy!

Let's Talk About Race

I have a confession to make, it's time to get honest. The truth is I'm a pretty average, middle class, white girl. I like to think I'm liberal and forward thinking. I strive to advocate for others in my personal and professional life. I'm constantly trying to learn more about myself and others and how we all play a part in this world. And my greatest hope is that one day my little Sylas will live in a world that is safe and kind and generous. I hope that he lives on a healthy planet and is judged by his beliefs, actions, good deeds, generous spirit, and the talents God will bestow on him. While those things are the truth it's also very true that I'm overwhelmed by the race issue. I don't think that I'm a racist person but I honestly have thought very little about my own race and now I don't know how to think about Sylas'.

I have been very fortunate since bringing Sylas home that we have recieved no negative comments about race. We have had some awkward comments. Someone asked me "how much of a negro is he?" That was really awkward and required some educating on my part about how that wasn't an appropriate way to ask about his racial background. So while we have had odd statements to contend with no negative outright racist comments. For that I'm grateful. But it's coming. I know it's coming.

So in the last 13 weeks I have spent more time thinking about race and talking about race then I have my entire 27 years prior. When you are white you don't think about your color and how it affects you. You don't wonder what people think of you, if someone will make a comment. You just live as a white person and that's just that. But there is a lot more to it now.

My first real dilema was filling out the paperwork at the doctor's office for the first time. It asks for race. You have some choices, white, black, asian, pacific islander, and other. Hmmmmmm what do I check. I don't like the idea of checking other. Sylas isn't an other. He is Sylas. And I don't like checking black. Sylas isn't only black. To just check black disregards a large portion of his birth family not to mention me. And I can't check white... he is not just white either. So what to do... I finally just checked white and black. I refuse to check other. That is ridiculous. My child will never be classified as an other! No one should be. We aren't others.

This is just the beginning. I know we have a long road ahead of us. I have a lot to learn and I have a lot to teach Sylas K. I may not know the answers but I'm going to do my best to find them. Most of all I want to teach him to be proud of his heritage and proud of that beautiful skin and the beautiful boy he is. We are going to find our way through this and until then I'm going to ask questions and read books and discuss. I've already found some great blogs that I think are helpful. My Sky- Multiracial Family Life is very good. And I also really love Anti-Racist Parent. Both have provided some good insight and direction.

So what race issues are you dealing with? What resources have you utilized??? What box do you check???

Silly Schedules

I officially went back to work this week. Sylas K is being watched each day by a teacher that I had in middle school. She retired and is now just watching three little ones including Sylas. So he has some other little buddies but he also still get plenty of one on one attention. So I'm pleased with that.

I am not however pleased with trying to balance it all. Lots of people ask me how I do the whole working full time and being a single mom. The truth is that the whole working mom thing is hard. The whole working single mom thing is harder. But it's getting easier each day. I've figured out that sticking to a schedule and having routines is the key to success and calmness. And I've found that the calmer it is the happier I am and the happier Sylas is. So silly strict schedules is what we have. This is our routine each day...

Morning Routine

I get up at 5:30
Start a load of laundry
Shower
Get dressed
Hair and Makeup
Make Bed
Wake up Sylas and feed him
Get him dressed
Let him play and listen to music while I empty the dishwasher and switch out the laundry.
Then I play with him for about 30 minutes and we roll out
He is at daycare at 7:30 and I'm at work at 7:45

After Work Routine
Pick Sylas up at 5
Feed him
Switch out laundry
Dinner for me
Go on a walk or play time with Sylas
4 B's for Sylas- Bath, Book, Bottle, Bed. He is in bed between 7:30-8:00

After Sylas is in bed routine
Check email
30 minutes of cleaning something... anything... everything...
Put away laundry from the day
Work out if we didn't go on a walk
Pick up toys
Blog

Before Bed Routine
Start dishwasher
Lay out our clothes for tomorrow
Reload the diaper bag
Do a quick run thru of the house and put things back in their place
CRASH!

Honestly I don't get much time with Sylas in the evenings. He usually takes a 30 minute nap right after we get home so it's really only about 2 hours of awake time together. But I will only be working until 1:00 on Fridays so I'm hoping that the nice long weekends will give us some good quality time.

Tonight I tried out the Exersaucer toy and he loved it! Well he was tired so he wouldn't smile but he didn't cry so I think that means it's all good. Usually he will cry the whole time I'm making my dinner which makes me feel horrible. But I put him in the exersaucer in the kitchen and he could see me the whole time and he was just calm as could be. So maybe I will be able to cook now without feeling like a mean mommy....

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all those dad's out there. Yes I called my Dad and wished him a happy day. I hope you called yours too. Since Sylas doesn't have a dad I wasn't sure what I would do with him for Father's Day. I think it's important to start making traditions now. So I thought about it quite a bit and this is what I decided.

Sylas may not have a dad but he has some really great guys in his life that love him very much. While that aren't his dad they are the closest thing he has to one. So today and each Father's Day is going to be about celebrating those men in his life. In fact I'm really moved by those men because they have just stepped up and done fatherly type things for Sylas even though they don't have too. To me that makes them all the more precious to us.

So today we spent the day with my brother Shawn. Shawn is the regular bearer of testosterone in our house. He is the toy putter together guy, the guy I call when I need a break, the one that can't wait to teach Sylas how to pee standing up, and one of the best uncles in the world. He just loves Sylas and loves me. He is super supportive and is always there for us. His wife and daughter are out of town so he spent the entire day with us. He and Sylas took a long nap together after we made him lunch and gave him his father's day present. It was a good day and I hope in the future we can celebrate his special place in our lives.

I can't let the day pass without thanking our other special men. Chris is Sylas' god father and he is just a super guy. He puts up with a lot from me. I tend to tease him and steal his lovely wife Darby away from him on occasion. He is one of the most reliable and loving men I know and Sylas is blessed to have such a great role model in his life.

Monte is my step dad. He and I have a long history together and it's been quite a bumpy road at times. We haven't always seen eye to eye and we don't always agree with one another's decisions. But hands down Monte is so incredibly supportive of me as a mom and so loving to Sylas. He calls almost every day to check on his "chunk chunk" as he calls him. And whenever he is in town he stops by to hold and play with Sylas. He also takes my car for oil changes, changes light bulbs, waters my plants, and puts together toys. So thanks for being our helper, our support, and one cool Pop!

So thanks guys for stepping up and being such a big part of Sylas' life. I know he will grow to be a better man because of your influence. We love you all!!!

Two Months

Sylas is almost three months old now. But since I was without my computer for so long I didn't get to do the two month update. So better late than never. Here are the highlights of month two.

Sylas got his first set of vaccinations! YUCK! That did not go well. The shots were a piece of cake but the side effects were just plain horrible.

Sylas is still one big eater! He eats 8 ounces of formula every 3-4 hours. We are counting down the days until we can start cereal.

Sylas can now sit with support. As long as you have a hand on his back he can stay sitting up.

Sylas loves the dog and small children! They get lots of smiles from him.

Sylas was baptized during month two! This was a really big deal to me and my family. I have pictures of that that I will post at the end of this post.

We were supposed to have a face to face visit with Katie this month but her car broke down so she wasn't able to make it. We did send her lots of pictures though and we continue to talk on the phone often.

Sylas loves music time. I turn the stereo on and he and I jam out several times a day.

Sylas is now sleeping in his own crib all the time.

So those are some highlights from month two with Sylas. Here are some pictures of my little man.

Missing In Action

Mercy it has been way to long since I've posted! My computer got very sick with some horrible virus and adware and other nonsense. So after a very long 27 days without a computer and internet access I am back! Oh how I have missed my blogging friends!

Sylas K is just growing like a little weed. Well actually he is growing like a beautiful little flower! He is now 16 pounds of chunky smiling love! I get numerous smiles a day now but I have not been able to capture one on camera yet. Every time I pull it out I only get serious Sylas and not smiling Sylas. Hopefully one day soon!

Due to my lack of computer access I did not get the June edition of the Adoption Journey Blog Carnival posted. I however will just combine the June entries with the July carnival and post everything on July 1st. So go ahead and submit your posts!

I have lots of pics to edit and then I will get some posted for you all. I will also hopefully be getting caught up on your blogs too. I've missed you all!

Jessie