Great!

The homestudy appointment went great! I'm so thrilled. Amy the social worker is really fun. We clicked well. She told me that I'm approved with flying colors! She said I'm the youngest single person she has worked with but she feels like I'm very realistic about single motherhood and she thinks I will be a great mom. She said she is impressed by my support system, my sense of humor, and my maturity. YIPPEEEEE!!!!

So Many Emotions

Wow I'm feeling so many emotions right now. I'm really excited about my home study appointment tomorrow. I really enjoy my social worker and I am enjoying this process so I'm looking forward to the next meeting. Honest I am!

But I'm also very sad tonight and a bit angry. My mom died in September and she was my biggest fan and bestest friend. I know that if she was alive she would be over here tonight helping me do all the finishing touches to the house. She would probably hide in my closet tomorrow so she could overhear the whole meeting and she would be so excited about a grandchild! But she isn't here and that just makes me so very sad. I miss her so much and as I go through this process I feel at times close to here and at other times so very far away. It's just overwhelming. And honestly I feel angry that she isn't here. She was an amazing mother and very young and she was robbed of her life and we were robbed of her and that makes me pretty mad sometimes.

I also feel guilty. I have been saving money since I was 16 to adopt. I've wanted to adopt internationally since I was a little girl and I started saving my babysitting money and have saved ever since. However, I was still short about $7000. Then my mom died and I got an inheritance. So I had the money to move forward with my dream. And while I know she wanted me to do this as we had numerous conversations about it I feel guilty. I feel like I'm trading in a way. I don't have my mom but because she died I can afford to adopt a baby. I know that is unfair and not at all accurate but sometimes feelings don't make sense.

So needless to say I'm feeling very overwhelmed tonight! So many emotions and so little time. I have a bathroom to clean and need to get on it. No time for sitting around feeling sorry for myself tonight!

This is a picture of my mom and I in September just a few days before she passed away.

Appointment Scheduled

I talked with Amy, my local home study social worker on Friday. She is able to come to do my home study visit on Tuesday morning at 9:00! I can't believe she can fit me in this week. Now I'm really excited. It looks like we are on track for my homestudy to be done right around March 14th. So actually we are ahead of the schedule I originally started with. So I'm very very pleased!!!

Support

I'm so lucky to be blessed with such an amazing support system. I wouldn't even be considering adopting as a single mom if I didn't have a lot of support from friends and family but they still amaze me from time to time. The people I work with really go above and beyond for me. They have just kind of jumped in and are taking this journey with me and I just love them for that.

I'm actually employed in child welfare and I coordinate adoptions for children in foster care. So everyone at the office thinks it's pretty shocking that I wanted to try to adopt on my own. I think they figured I get enough of the adoption paperwork at work let alone doing it at home. But they are already talking baby showers and getting excited so it should be a fun thing.

One day when we were talking about the whole process at lunch one of the girls mentioned that around mid Feburary was probably when my baby would be conceived. If you do the math for how long I'm expecting to wait and all of that she probably isn't to far off. So we started joking that this would be my best Valentine's Day ever. Someone would be getting pregnant with my baby!

So yesterday I got this email from Tara and the subject was Happy Late Conceiving Day! And this is what the message said. "I forgot to tell you yesterday, but congratulations on your new lil' Ethi. baby being created yesterday! Woo hoo!"

That just cracked me up! Thank God I have friends with a sense of humor!!!

Jessie

Packet Arrived

Well I got a call today from my home study agency. They received my home study packet and said that everything looked good. My social worker will call me Friday to set up the appointment for the home visit. So that makes me feel good. One more thing checked off the list!

I did get our KBI background checks back tonight. So it's official that neither Heather or I are criminals and are safe to be around kids. Who knew Heather would have to get background checks to be an aunt. The things sister's will do for you! Most of the time other family members don't have to have the background checks but since Heather claims my house as her permanent address since she is in college she has to go through the whole thing with me. She is a great sport. She will do anything to be an aunt. Gotta love her for that!

Jessie

Mailed Out

Well I got my home study mailed out. It is on the way to my local adoption agency. They should receive it tomorrow by 3:00. The social worker should get in touch with me this week to schedule a home visit. I'm hoping we can do that next week or the week after. Well I would love it if we could do it this week but that isn't likely so I'm going with next week... Trying to stay realistic here!

Jessie

Tracking

I'm slowly learning some tricks to ease my mind a little through this process. I have learned that overnight mail with tracking makes me a calmer person. It costs a little more but it is worth every dime! I had to mail our fingerprints to the FBI this week and it was so nice to be able to track them. I didn't have to worry about things getting lost. I have finally finished the home study paperwork so I'll be mailing that out on Monday! I'm tracking that package too. It would make me sick if it got lost. I'm just so relieved to have the home study paperwork done. I feel like it moves me one step closer to bringing home baby...

Jessie

The Beginning

Well it's the beginning of a new blog and the beginning of my journey to become a mom! After many years of dreaming I have finally taken the plunge into the amazing world of international adoption. I will be adopting a baby from Ethiopia! I've already decided on an agency locally that will be handling my homestudy and post adoption supervision. And I have choosen an agency to arrange the international adoption as well.

So now I'm filling out papers like crazy! I'm a mom on a mission!