Good Advice

From now on when I can't decide what to do about something I'm posting about it and I'm just taking advice from you all. You all are the best! Miss Bethany left me a comment that made my blood pressure go back in the normal range and left me feeling so much calmer about my situation.

So like Bethany says I'm taking a day I'm taking a breath and I'll figure it out. I've decided that I'm just going to spend the next week in prayer and wait for the answers to come to me.

Decision Making

I'm really struggling with making a decision about how to proceed in this crazy journey towards motherhood. I had an appointment with my diabetes doctor last week and she feels like I'm on track in getting my blood sugar down. But she thinks it needs to be down and stable at least 6 months before I attempt artificial insemination. Even then she is not optimistic that I will be able to maintain a pregnancy if I would get pregnant.

So I really feel like adoption is the right path for me. Now I'm just struggling with what route to take with that. I can't decide if I should go back to my original plan of an Ethiopian adoption or stick with the domestic route and try to get rematched. I like the fact that there is less to worry about with an Ethiopian adoption. There is a fairly clear timeline and there isn't the changing their mind dilemia. However, I like the fact that I can get a newborn through domestic and I like the idea of an open adoption.... So what to do what to do. It's hard to decide.

Any suggestions????

Good Egg

Well my eggs are good! I never thought I'd type that phrase. How funny! But seriously they are good. I have some in there. But my blood sugar is not so good. So now the yucky side effect med dosage is being increased and I have a lovely new diet to follow. I'm calling this diet "Nothing tastes better than being a mom". Maybe that will help me follow it. Basically is is low carb. Once I get my blood sugar in check he says we can try a round of clomid and artificial insemination and see what happens. I'm hoping that in the next six weeks I can get the sugars down and get back on track.

Things We Do

Oh the things we do in the quest for children. The new meds are kicking my butt! I have about every side effect listed on the bottle. I'm hoping it will pass soon and I'll just get some of the benefits instead of all the bad. I feel like crap. I also can't have any soda while I'm taking it so the caffeine withdrawal is making me psycho. My head hurts so bad and all I want to do is sleep or cry. Not off to such a great start. I have my follow-up appt. with the doctor tomorrow so hopefully he will give me some good news. I'd like to think the headaches and upset stomach were worth it.....

Not In My Dreams

You know when I was a little girl I dreamed of having a family. I thought I would marry some rich guy that would support me and a houseful of children. I figured I'd have five or six kids. I always thought I'd have some and adopt some and create some little UN family. I honestly never imagined that having one child would be so difficult.

I went to the doctor today and he seems to think that artificial insemination might work for me. I do have PCOS so he changed my diabetes meds around so that I'm on a med that will help with my blood sugar as well as my PCOS and ovulation. He is running lab work today and the results will be back for my appointment on Tuesday. We will meet then to decide what course of action we are going to take. I figure I will have to take some type of fertility drugs but we need to figure out where to start from first. Who would have ever guessed I'd be going through all this.

So now I get to work on picking a sperm donor! That's worse than dating!!! I have a wonderful catalog of people to choose from. Good times.